I’m a black coffee drinker, but once in a while I like a little kick in the flavor. If not the coffee itself then some creamer. My sister brought home some Peppermint Mocha creamer the other day and that is what is in my cup. Well that and a package of hot chocolate mixed with the coffee, because if you are needing coffee why not shoot for the I can crawl up the wall and across the ceiling then hang upside down like a fruit bat level of caffeine satisfaction? In my world, if you aren’t walking on the ceiling, you’re doing it all wrong.
Today, lunch was an amazing bowl of….*drum roll*…. raisin bran. I was craving it for some reason, which makes me think I’m truly bat shit crazy after all, because who the heck craves raisin bran??? It was good, considering it is cereal, but wow, that was out of left field.
A lot of life is coming out of left field lately and I find it rather perplexing at times.
The Badge took me out for dinner last night, and my universe shifted on me. Not sure how to explain that other than think of a lock and how tumblers inside have to all fall into place before it clicks and can be opened. I even distinctly recall the moment when he looked at me while we were talking and things just clicked into place in my cosmos and it unsettled me. Something was very different in the energy in the air while we were together, and I swear I felt my inner walls surrounding my heart give way.
Later I was pondering it all, as I have been for weeks now, and likened it to being a kid on the 10 foot diving board. You stand there and holy crap it’s a long way to the water from that high. You really want to jump but you are so flipping scared you can’t. Heck you cannot even breathe. So yep, that is me, I’ve sat down on the end of the board and my legs are swinging over the edge while I try to catch my breath, but even at a lower angle, I’m scared to death to jump.
I don’t know why I’m so worried, because this time is so different. Not a single red flag (or pink, orange, yellow…) whatsoever. This came out of no where when I wasn’t looking and had written off dating and relationships. If I went down my list of deal breakers and makers, things couldn’t be more of a fit.
Wow, look at the time. I believe it is time for the bottle of white zinfandel to be uncorked. Meanwhile I’ll just sit here and on the end of the board, as I suspect that between him, my inner diva, goddess and child, I’m about to be pushed off my perch and into the deep end of the pool.