The Not-So-Domestic Goddess

June Cleaver I am not.

June cookingI don’t wear dresses unless I have too.  Like my son’s wedding for example.  The mother-of-the-groom cannot show up in jeans unless it is an outdoor, country western, or hippie style affair.  Had it been a peace, love and tie-dyed shirt style I would have opted for a moo-moo so I had more room to expand with the cake, food and of course beer. But as that was not the case I found appropriate attire.  Heck for my wedding I wore a sarong as I wasn’t up for that whole white dress and $$$ production.

I also don’t wear pearls.  Not my stone, not my style.

June cleaverAnd high heels, while I do indeed like them, you won’t see them on me in jeans.  Most of the ones I have are not jean worthy, and likely look better if I’m not wearing…never mind this is a PG rated blog site.  The supermarkets of today aren’t geared toward walking all of those aisles in heels.   No wonder our grandmothers ended up using canes and walkers, not to mention wearing support hose.

Now, I would not in a million years pair any of those with a vacuum cleaner, dust clothes or when cooking.  Can you imagine cleaning the bathroom dressed like that?  And either old Ward didn’t have the money to hire a maid like the Brady Bunch or you just didn’t do that in those days.  Carol Brady could pull off those some what tighter dresses than June wore, because the reality is though she didn’t have a job outside of the home, Alice did it all.  Carol just stood around snapping green beans and yelling for kids or Mike when necessary.Brad3

Give me my jeans and a t-shirt and some gym shoes for just about anything and everything domestic.  Heck it’s what I wear to work, though that shirt does have a collar.

When it comes to being a domestic diva, I will vacuum, do dishes, cook, grocery shop, do laundry, dust and even do windows.  I will NOT clean the bathroom.  The Knight does it graciously and that is okay with me.  If he didn’t, we’d be hiring a maid service.  Any other room of the house, the litter box, and scooping puppy poop from the yard is just fine, but I don’t clean the bathroom. EVER.

abc_brady_hair_8_jef_ss_120914_sshI also don’t roll out of bed looking like a million bucks.  Award winning bed head that I spend the entire night working on, morning breath, and sometimes even sporting yesterday’s makeup (GASP!).  No frilly, family friendly nighties like those TV home makers, this chick wears lounge pants and jammie shirts.  Nick and Nora brand from Target is my favorite.  Sock Monkeys, Hello Kitty, or kittens and mittens.  And I’ll bet June and Carol don’t snore either.  I’ve got it down to a serious art.  The Knight tells me it sounded like a cat the other night, and not one purring softly.  Meowing it would seem and I am guessing he was just being kind, more like 2 alley cats fighting it out, to the death.

The only reason I remember the grocery list is thanks to modern technology.  It’s on my phone, in a folder I call my mobile office, on a list in Evernote.  Any special coupons are downloaded to my shopper card from the store’s online site.  I make a menu on my calendar now, which has saved me $100 a trip as I don’t spend a bunch of money I don’t need too anymore from shopping off the top of my head.  And I buy value/generic and store brand, saving a ton of money too.

No talking over the back fence with my coffee cup, for me it’s Facebook and texting.  And when I need a gal-pal break, it’s a trip by the Diva Den, or dinner/meetings with my direct sales sisters (the Minions).

I don’t darn his socks, but I’ll gladly make my man a good meal and watch football with him.

And he loves me, as I am, undomestic and a few rungs down from a goddess.  Just a fun fairy, restock fairy, and all around good time.

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