I’ve been super confused of late about relationships, dating, and what my heart can take/not take. Last Saturday I spent the entire day with Teddy Bear, talking very openly about our lives, our experiences, and taking turns asking probing questions that sparked all manner of great conversations and memories. Later, after a fun day of driving the countryside of Indiana, through an adorable small town, lunch and dinner at new places for me, and touring an art museum (where I discovered I’ve really grown up as I LOVED it), I was laying in bed contemplating some of the conversations.
All day long my inner child and my heart took turns peeking around the barriers while trying to stay hidden. But maybe not all that hidden? I was told that despite thinking I have my heart locked up tight where it cannot be broken, that it shines through in my eyes and smile. I began wondering if maybe I am just over thinking things and need to just let it out to wander again. After all, with love comes heart ache, they seem to go hand in hand. I see it as a mom when I dearly love my kids but my heart suffers with theirs when they are hurting. You cannot love without pain being involved at times.
So I started to think just maybe it is time to remove the barriers and let my heart out completely. Stop hiding behind the heartaches that have healed long ago and explore the possibility of finding potential forever love again. It means I have to take chances, risk getting hurt in order to find love.
I’ve reached the conclusion that one day, my heart can and will find someone that I can love completely, like I did the ex. But I have to be open to exploring those potential loves.
It is with baby steps that I’m shedding the walls and unlocking the gate to my heart’s garden. Time to see where my heart takes me.