Dealing With Marti

I’m horribly flawed.

I’ve sinned in ways and areas that would rock even the strongest men of God’s  foundations.

I went through a living emotional and mental hell and managed to grab hold of the rock on the side of the swamp and pull myself out of the sinful sludge pit because there were people praying that I had not seen or spoken to, or for that matter thought about, for years.  Praying for me to repent, praying for me to come back home.

I’ve said it before in blogs, but now I say it again….I make NO apologies for who I have been in my past.  Key word there is PAST, it all lies behind  me.

I didn’t jump out of that pit, I CRAWLED OUT!  Changes  came slowly, not in the blink of an eye.  Old habits die hard and some still are with me.

But I am me, real, honest, screwed up, and at times very easily hurt, ME.

I refer all who cannot stomach that to a previous blog, Who Is Willing To Ride The Bus.

If you aren’t willing to ride the bus, then get OFF the bus because you are taking up a seat that someone willing to ride might want.  And I learned yesterday that I have a lot of people that are willing to get on the bus and ride it with me because they love me, in fact they all boarded the bus and sat down with me yesterday, and cried with me, and held my hand, and prayed with me.

In closing I refer to my favorite quote:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
— Marilyn Monroe


  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that quote from Marilyn Monroe, in fact it is on my personal facebook page. I live by it even. I wish you luck on your personal journey!

  2. Just want you to know I was one of the folks praying for you. Long before anyone else thought of it.

  3. Oh my goodness, this sure felt like my words completely! I totally hear you on the bad parts of me, the crawling out of the sludge, the flaws…and learning to love myself.

    • I have pulled some of what I wrote in the past down, but changed my mind this morning about the rest. The progression out of that pit is a testimony to the results of prayer by others and the slow awakening and realization of where I was and where I needed to be. It is not pretty back there, but part of me, and I am not erasing it. I cannot erase my past by deleting it from my blogs, but I can use it later to teach another that no matter where we were, God does reach out to us there and pull us out.

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